Eat, Drink & Be Scary

It’s that time again ladies & gents, Halloween is upon us. A time of anxiety, anticipation and a brand new dent in your bank account.

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Girls aggressively ravishing FabricLand (American Apparal) for the perfect toile, lace and bodysuit accessories to aid in their grand transformation. Tomboys googling old school movies to pinpoint the most appropriate male character that combines looking cute with ‘ being a bro’ (i really wanted to be Happy Gilmore. Still might, stay tuned). Guys pretending not to give a fuck, yet secretly wracking their brains for that perfect costume : a hybrid between “ya i know how to have fun” , and an excuse to (not so) subtly show off their package, toned bod or newly acquired biceps. When the latter does not apply, the man has two roads  he can choose to travel down. Either succumb to dressing up as something magnificently horrifying, or to be that asshole who dresses as ‘an entrepreneur’ (aka parade their cash flow). I bet Harry Rosen is just as packed as PartyCity on Halloween day. sigh.

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Lately i’ve been thinking that maybe it’s not just the costume, candy or concoction of vices that people look forward to on Halloween night. For some reason Halloween (unlike New Years) is never a let down. We choose our costumes as a form of expression. Whether it be to go as a freak, a bro- chick, a sex icon or a joke, everyone is satisfied with their well – planned alter ego & thus more inclined to let loose and get ravey. When else can you dress up in a group and have it be totally acceptable.? Note : there can only be one fedora per crew.

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Its a night (week) of being able to throw your shame out the window and take a moment to laugh & giggle at your God given silliness. SO, go all out. Don’t half- ass that wiggly jiggly jellyfish you’ve been dying to be for the past 3 years. Men, put on your fluorescent tights and ballerina suits. Girls, glue that facial hair to your f*cking faces. Don’t feel embarrassed, bad, stupid or awkward for one single second. Soon enough you’ll be stuck in a doorframe dressed as an overweight witch, or an out of shape kitty, or a Canadian on Weight Watchers, handing out miniature chocolate that you realistically already devoured an entire box of and had to quickly run to Shoppers a few hours earlier for a replacement.

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This year, i have challenged all my closest friends to dress up 100x harder than they have in previous years. A halloween party is in order, overpriced decoration and copious libations have been purchased, and you betcha bottom dollar i’ll be keeping you updated on each and every detail (probs not though, i’m stupid busy lately). Which reminds me, wtf do i dress Thunder up as this year..?

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Even if you can’t go out, dress up and insta that sh*t. Send out some snap chats. Chug some champagne. Bathe in fake blood. Wrap yourself in spiderwebs. Whatever.

Halloween is about putting yourself in a vulnerable situation, getting absolutely mind-mucked and blaming it on the aggressive coating of makeup, fuzziness of your coloured contacts and lack of dinner due to 4 hours of costume prep.

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Just do me one thing & make it home safe okay? I don’t care if you skip, crawl or get driven home by the cops, just make sure to survive.  (Morning Starbucks can help ya with the hangover)

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Happy Halloween blog world. Don’t let me down.

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