Don’t Stress The Could Haves: If It Should Have, It Would Have

I don’t know about you, but I welcomed 2014 with a full glass, tanned cheeks, and the widest of open arms this year. My happiness at the turn of the year is due to the last few unforgettable days leading up to New Years and the people who made them so special. All I remember from the latter part of December is gyrating dance moves, obscene christmas sweaters, Yeezus, Thunder licks, moon walks, gift cards, snow angels, chinese lanterns, the Chamber of Kisstler, backflip wounds, ocean swims, the best of friends and last, but not least, a little run- in with the Ginger dad from Modern Family (Jesse Tyler Ferguson, he’s a babe).

 See? There we are, such besties..


Instead of obsessing over the many New Year’s resolution’s I won’t keep, I decided to think about the top 3 things that I have learnt from 2013. How will I remember 2013 when i’m dancing blackout on Cougar night in 2030? What defining life lessons will I ponder over when I find myself in an Indian Ashram in 2022? I know I must have grown up a slight bit from last year, but what exactly have I learnt in my 22nd year of life?


I decided to look back at my Twitter feed for inspiration. Not only do I post cheesy book lines and inspirational quotes, I sometimes toss in a clever thought or two of my own that sounds much deeper than it actually is. This is the virtual encyclopedia of my mind, and I felt it was more than acceptable to shuffle through for memories.


I then decided to break down my year into three defining events and what lesson was learnt from each one. I really recommend doing this. It allowed me to tie an invisible thread to the moments that caused me pain, made me laugh, and the people who held my hand the whole way. By weaving these threads I have created a visual quilt of my 2013, and have stored it in my imaginative basket trunk at the foot of my mind. Yes I sound fkn nuts but you know what I mean. Define your year now or succumb to memory beer goggles by June.


Now, onto the good stuff. I’m not going to bore you with specifics, but here are my life lessons of 2013:

Time Takes Time

Things will not change in a day, and there is no fairy fkn godmother who will shock therapy your brain to make you forget. You need to GIVE yourself the time to heal. You aren’t going to be better in 24 hours. Some days will be really good, but some days will be really bad. This is how it goes. You’re not wrong for allowing yourself to feel. It’s a process, but you can’t give up. Accept the hard days with the good ones and soon enough they will come less and less. That being said, please don’t be that sad betch who wont stfu about how things haven’t gone her way, when you should instead proactively be making changes yourself (note: Billy Madison and the puppy who lost it’s way). Time takes times, magic only exists in the movies. FIO, lets go.


What You Put Up With You End Up With

You are only as good as your weakest link. If you allow shitty things to stay in your life, then your life will continue to be shitty. Happiness is an everyday thing, not a destination you can fly to with your rewards points. You can be in the happiest place on Earth, but if you bring the weight with you it will never be lifted. Baggage is baggage, only you are able to decide what you don’t need to pack.


You Are In Charge Of Your Life

If you don’t write a resume, you won’t get the job. Don’t get it? Ok, how about this : If you don’t walk away, you are still standing in the same spot. Ok ok, one more for good luck. If you don’t buy the ingredients, you can’t make the dish.

YOU are in charge. Nothing or no one else.


Some Things Never Change, And Because Of That Some Things Do

You can waste so much time in a pool of hope, only to doggy paddle around in the same direction day in, day out. Get out of the pool and jump into the ocean. WTF  do I mean?
Don’t waste your time trying to change someone. We are who we are, it’s much easier to accept this fact early before you get hurt.


Making A New Friend Is The Best Medicine

I cannot stress this lesson enough. I made two amazing friends this year completely benign to my past (Hometown, High School, Queensu), and doing so brought me so much happiness and confidence in moving forward with my life. A little shoutout to CK and TO, you have brought such fire and joy to my life without even knowing. Just get me wasted, and I will express my gratitude whole heartedly and sans filter.



Why? Because it’s the best chase with any hard liquor. It makes you look more approachable. AND, it changes your mind and attitude. If you smile while you’re seriously angry or irritated, you can trick your brain into thinking you’re happy and thus will feel much happier.

You are what you think about all day long!


Never Be Embarrassed To Dance

Get off your high fkn horse and throw that shame in the recycling bin. Whether it be on the street, in the car, at the club or naked in a pool with a total stranger. Being silly is the best remedy, and looking silly keeps us young.
Don’t believe me? Just come to one of mine and Kyle’s pre drinks, not one thing doesn’t get twerked on.


So, maybe I have a New Years Resolution after all.  LET GO . Just learn to let things go.

Okay, that’s all I got for now. If I come up with any more enlightening resolutions I’ll let ya know. Sorry for being MIA, many many more posts coming this year, etc, etc etc.



“Inner peace can only be reached when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions” 


2 thoughts on “Don’t Stress The Could Haves: If It Should Have, It Would Have

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